Decoding Learning Differences with Kimberlynn Lavelle

 Parents often wonder whether it is worthwhile to write to their child's teacher.  The issue is complicated and nuanced, but overall, I almost always say: Yes!

 

Listen to the podcast and then be sure to read more of the details, ideas, and nuances at: www.YourParentHelp.com/podcast_0237 

 Kids who struggle with ADHD, dyslexia, dysgraphia, dyscalculia, and other learning disabilities are motivated by the same things all kids are motivated by: solving complex problems in a meaningful way!

 

In a continuing effort to find ways to motivate our child’s academic/educational progress, this month’s Motivational Monday is on Problem-Solving.  

 

While doing a worksheet full of “word problems” can be boring and unmotivating, solving genuine problems can be very motivating!

 

Consider some of these problems and all that your kids would learn in helping to genuinely solve them:

 

• We have no more space on our bookshelves…
• We have $X saved for a family vacation…
• What's for dinner?
• The back gate was blown down…
• The tomato plants died…
• We are in the midst of a super drought…

 

These problems, large and “small” all require an incredible number of skills to effectively solve.  Some skills that will be involved in solving these:

• Brainstorming 
• Measuring
• Calculating
• Budgeting
• Analyzing
• Evaluating
• Researching
• Donating
• Building

 

And there will be so many more skills, specific to each problem and to each child’s attempted solutions to that problem.  Notice that none of the given problems are ones that have a single solution.  The possibilities are endless, as are the possibilities of what your child will learn in helping to solve these problems!

 

Takeaway: Life is full of everyday problems that require a variety of skills to solve- involve the kids!

 

See more at: www.YourParentHelp.com/podcast_0236

More at: www.YourParentHelp.com/podcast_0235 

 

When you’re teaching your child, or supporting them academically in any way, even just in thinking about how to get outside help for them, you NEED to understand a few principles of how kids learn to easily avoid conflict and increase actual learning!

 

• Teachers learn the most.

When we teach something, we retain 90% of the content.  Compare that to just 15% retention when something is presented both auditorily and visually! 

 

Prioritize creating opportunities for your child to take on the role of teacher.  Many young kids will do this naturally by quizzing the parent, or telling the parent to pretend to be a student.  Follow that lead!  Let them turn in to the teacher!  You can also set up other “students” like stuffed animals or the dog.  “Teddy looks confused.  Can you explain that to them again?”

 

• Learning happens in a fun challenge, and when interested.

If your child is stressed or bored, they’re not learning much.  We want all learning opportunities to be enjoyable.  One way to do this is to consider their interests and make learning opportunities around something interesting to them. 

 

Another way is to challenge them.  If something is too easy, it feels boring.  And some kids make more mistakes when they find something too easy.  They aren’t paying much attention because they’re not interested.  However, if something is too hard, they’ll become frustrated and feel defeated.  Finding that fine line of giving only what feels almost easy can really engage effort and attention and make them proud of what they accomplish!

 

• Most people can not attend/focus for More than 10 minutes at a time.

Keep learning activities short, light, and fun!  An hour of tutoring once per week is far less impactful than 5 minutes of intentional practice or quick lessons twice per day.  Your kid can focus better, and gets lots of opportunity to process between practices, building more automaticity.  

 

Bonus tip:  the best time to practice is right before bed!  Our brains process all night long and the stuff that happens right before bed gets the most processing.

 

With these three principles, you can be effective in designing meaningful educational opportunities for your child while avoiding resistance, boredom, and frustration!

Have you heard of Oppositional Defiant Disorder?  How about Pathological Demand Avoidance?

 

Ever wonder (or know) if your child has one of these and what to do about it?

 

Listen to this week’s podcast, where we dive deep into what these disorders are, and how to approach behavioral challenges with these kids.

Learn more about Michele’s work at: https://micheleshilvock.com/ 

Follow her on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/Micheleshilvockconsulting 

And Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/micheleshilvockconsulting/

In this week’s podcast, I geeked out a bit with Michele Shilvock, where we talked about behavior difficulties in children and what really works in a respectful and long-term way.  Michele speaks from experience, not merely from theory.

 

Michele starts off walking us through her behavior visual, then explains lagging skills, ODD, and PDA.  We definitely didn’t have time to go as deep as I wanted on everything so watch for Part 2 coming soon!

Improving Reading Comprehension can feel daunting, but there are many simple, easy, and fun strategies that you can start using TODAY to improve your child's reading comprehension, despite any learning disabilities or challenges.  These work for kids with autism, ADHD, dyslexia, auditory processing disability, visual processing disability, and more!

 

Download the Guide at: https://www.yourparenthelp.com/readingcomprehension 

As a kid, I remember being scared to go down this set of 3 tall, dark tunnel slides at the local water park (Raging Waters) called The Bermuda Triangle.  But I kept watching all of these other kids going down it and laughing and smiling and enjoying it!

 

Eventually, I climbed the stairs, took a breath and went for it.  And I was so glad that I had found that courage.  That motivation.

 

I’m sure you’ve had similar experiences, but have you ever taken the time to consider how this might apply to your relationship with your child?

 

When I became a parent, I read a lot of books and listened to a lot of people.  One thing that struck me was that a child could be “taught” manners by not being forced to say please and thank you, but to just hear and see manners modeled genuinely and often.

 

Good news! This applies to motivating kids to learn (even those with learning disabilities and learning challenges).

 

If you want your child to read, grab a book and find a cozy place on the couch and dig in!

 

If you want your child to do math, model all of your mathematical thinking out loud.

 

If you want your child to write, write a letter to your cousin who you haven’t seen in 3 years.

 

If you want your child to love learning, work on learning something new (and be sure your kid sees how terrible you are at it right now, and how you aren’t giving up!).

 

Watching others engage in an activity can be very motivating.  Especially, if it is not tied to: “I’m reading, you should read too!”  If it feels coercive, it will not be effective.  

 

And, it might take a lot of modeling, so enjoy the reading, writing, math, and learning activities for their own sake.  Know that your child is benefiting from it, and let the struggles and expectations go.

Children are expected to learn at a steady pace, starting fourth grade at a 4.0, and ending at a 4.9 or 5.0, with steady consistent growth of .1 each month along the way.

 

I have never met that child.

 

Every child I have ever worked with has had periods of explosive growth and periods of stagnation and even regression.

We expect that steady straight line, but the spikes and dips and plateaus is closer to the reality that I see.  I also want to point out that some kids will not start or end at the expected points, although I had them line up for this illustration. (www.YourParentHelp.com/podcast_0230)

 

And while it is easy to look at this overall graph and think, “Yeah, there’s nothing to worry about.  That kid made great progress!”  it’s not so easy to feel that way in November, when a kid who WAS doing really well, hasn’t made growth in months!

 

So one big takeaway I want you to see here is that kids will make progress, at their own pace, and you don’t need to panic when progress hasn’t happened in a while.

 

But you’re probably wondering: Why does this happen? What can we do about these plateaus and dips?  Is there a way to maintain better momentum?

 

Great questions!

 

Why does this happen? 

Kids often get very enthusiastic initially, and then become bored.  So their progress can be directly linked to their enthusiasm for learning the skill.

 

Kids also will have enough background knowledge to make rapid growth initially, before getting stuck on a harder concept for a while.  Then when they break through that struggle, they excel again for a while, before hitting another roadblock.

 

And for some kids, it has to do with self-confidence.  They don’t feel self-assured enough to make progress initially.  Then they have a breakthrough and feel great, and make huge growth before getting stuck and losing confidence again.

 

What can we do about these plateaus and dips?   Is there a way to maintain better momentum?

 

One of the best strategies to try when you notice boredom or resistance to daily lessons is to bring in novelty.  When things are new again, they feel fresh.  This can be as drastic as changing which curriculum you’re using, or can be as simple as:

• Changing the tool: Crayons instead of pencils
• Changing the location: outside, on the couch, under the dining room table
• Changing the time of day: after lunch instead of after breakfast
• Bringing in something new: music, snacks, a “new student” (the dog or a stuffed animal)

 

Of course, I am never a proponent of forcing a child to do something they are really against.  Have a genuine conversation with your child to see what is going on and why they’re feeling resistant.  Give them options, and ask for their suggestions.

 

You might need to take a break from the lessons for a while, but perhaps your kiddo would be on-board to do a little practice to maintain previously-mastered skills.

 

A word of caution

As you can imagine from all the possible learning graphs of spikes, dips, and plateaus, every child is different and comparing two kids is rarely beneficial.  

 

Keep your own feelings about your child’s progress in check.  

 

Your child is an awesomely unique human who is developing their skills in their own way and at their own pace.  Another child’s pace does not reflect anything on your own child’s pace.

 

However, if in your gut, you know that something is off- your child needs more help, a different program, etc. - make it happen!  Don’t ignore those gut feelings, just be sure that they ARE gut feelings!

 

Takeaway

We expect kids to make slow and steady progress, but I’ve never met a kid who did.  Adjust as needed!

Sue Patterson of Unschooling Mom2Mom defines unschooling as bringing a full, rich life to your kids and trusting that they learn naturally.

 

Listen to Sue’s answers to these questions (and more):

 

• What led you to choose unschooling?
• What is your take on unschooling children with learning disabilities such as ADHD or dyslexia?
• Is unschooling ‘right’ for everyone?  If not, describe who it is best for and who it is questionable for.

 

And then let me know if you’re currently unschooling or considering it, or if you just think it’s crazy!

 

Sue Patterson, a homeschooling mom with over 25 years of experience, is also an author, and an unschooling coach and podcaster. She helps families who aren't happy with their educational situations, and shows them how learning more about unschooling will help. She runs Unschooling Mom2Mom, available on all the social media platforms and offers courses, guides, group coaching programs, and private coaching.

www.UnschoolingMom2Mom.com 

 

Sue's book: Homeschooled Teens: 75 Young People Speak About their Lives without School.

(Digital and HardCopy at Amazon)

 

Podcast: Unschooling Mom2Mom http://www.UnschoolingMom2Mom.com/podcast

 

Sue sends out unschooling resources weekly by email.

Join her free email list here: Unschooling Updates

Kids with autism, dyslexia, ADHD, dysgraphia, dyscalculia, and other learning disabilities (including auditory, visual, attention, and cognitive processing disorders) benefit greatly from being carefully educated by those who know them best and spend the most time with them!

 

Teaching our children at home has so many benefits!  Even if your child attends a traditional school, you can support their learning difficulties at home.  Here are the benefits that I see:

(Watch or listen for more details on each!)

 

• Relationship Building
• 1:1 Instruction
• Instruction/Intervention throughout the day
• Individualized ABCs:
  • At your child’s level
  • Building on strengths
  • Challenging appropriately
  • Deficits worked on consistently
  • Engaging your child’s interests
  • Fun for your kid!

Note:

• Know yourself and your kid (will this work for your family?)
• You may want to hire a tutor or enroll your kid in a class instead
• At home interventions is highly effective for kids in traditional schools too (for all the same reasons)
• Very little time should be spent on intensive intervention